Marriage: “I am the harbinger of happiness.”

Definitely, strong growth outlook; leveraging the IT platform are the mushrooming matrimony marts. “I am an innocent divorcee looking for a never married, who can take care of me and my dentures.” “It is not negotiable.”

Divorce: “Uh, umm… well…funny?”

Marriage: This year the institution has grown by 40% vis-à-vis last year’s 25%. More and more people vouch for me, seven lakhs thirty four thousand more couples have joined.

The Return on Engagement (ROE) has shown a sharp increase this year.

“That’s good isn’t?” affirmed Marriage.

“Hey, Marriage!” It’s good news for me, confirmed Divorce.

“How can that be good?” yelled Marriage.

After all they are my potential customers, snapped Divorce.

Divorce: “Everybody should get married, after all happiness is not the only thing in life.”

Last couple of years, turnout was hovering around eight thousand; this year the customer base has crossed thirty thousand mark. I was struggling to Breakeven, this year it has been bumper ‘Breakups’. 

“Oh, I’m so relieved!” gushed Divorce.

“Huh?” cried Marriage. “You are?”

I am excited about the westernization trend. Look I have become a fashion statement in the community corridors, said Divorce.

Glocalisation has been a boon for me, but the concern is the United Partners Alliance (UPA) government, they are inclined towards your institution, accelerating the reform process. The National Divorce Alliance (NDA) government did accelerate the reverse process, fostering inflow of FCI.

FCI? quipped Marriage.

It is derivative of FDI, and FCI stands for Foreign Cultural Invasion.

“Huh huh.”

“Irony of life, one should sit down and find out where one stands.”

Look, who should be excited, sighed Marriage.

I was going through the recently published report titled “Future Prospects of Marriage” by Traditional Consulting Group (TCG).

They have some interesting findings, it’s encouraging for me, said Marriage.

72% of the respondents said marriages are made in heaven, and they have a strong faith in my institution.

“Oh, I’m so relieved!” gushed Marriage.

“Huh?” cried Divorce. “You are?”

So, are lightening and thunders, quipped Divorce.

And life becomes hell soon after…

“Huh! I don’t want to counter!” growled Marriage.

Jokes apart, the report warns a subtle wave simmering the relationship market. Quasi un-institutional players like “Flexi-Marriage” to “Convenience-Marriage” have started fluttering the institutional market.

“It’s strange,” said Divorce scratching his head.

These are reflecting the intensity of dubious fire, flaming the sacrosanct institution of marriage.

“Its serious affair”…moaned Marriage.

“Really?” added Divorce.

“These are disturbing trends!” grumbled Marriage.

“Well, yes”, responded Divorce.

I happen to scan the report on “ Breakup Prospects and Openings (BPO)” published by Modern Research Group (MRG). I have been equated to the BPO of IT industry, proudly pronounced by Divorce. 

“Oh!” shrieked Marriage. “You’re scaring me now.”

The market analysts have spotted a new evolving concept, threatening to revolutionize the relationship institutions.

This new phenomenon is being referred to as “Living Together”

“Living Together” is gaining prejudiced preferences in the relationship market.

So what?

Marriage: Hissed indignantly, “Rubbish”

Historically people have been living together in my institution, and in every other sphere of the world.

“Oh, yeah,” giggled Divorce.

My dear friend, you are mistaken, here exist the finer distinction.

Yeah, people have been living together as a family, as a friend circle and as a community; further elucidation would state that people have been living as bother and sister, father and mother, and of course husband and wife.

But living together as husband and wife without the ceremonious tag of marriage is paraphrased as “Living Together”. It has the potential to squarely threaten our markets.

“What will happen to all of us?” crooned Marriage.

It’s imperative; we need to form a consortium, to counter the new threat to our institutions.

“I’m getting scared,” wailed Divorce.

Why should they evade my institution? quipped Marriage.

Increasing career dis-orientation to mobility of misplaced-job, are threatening the prospects of your traditional institution, Divorce replied patiently.

Marriage nodded in agreement.

Divorce: I was getting feedbacks from my clients, they say pre & post-divorce crafts a depression cycle, personal emotional turmoil to professional performance turbulence, leading to impenetrable paranoid resulting in deep depression.

“It’s Cryptic!” exclaimed Marriage.

“Phew!” I’m glad I’m not you!”

“Cynical!” yelled Divorce.

They say, why at all get admitted to your institution.

Marriage: Coining in single word I am synonymous with ‘sweetdream’ and you get sidelined as ‘nightmare’. 

“Ooh! Listen to her,” cried Divorce.

Divorce: In fact this year, I am budgeting 15% of my profit towards brand building, to dispel the myth associated with my institution.

I am planning to introduce new advertisements, to smoothen the sudden and glaring loss of marital status.

Punchline…“Marital Loss is not Hair Loss, better without re-Gain”

Phantom inflictions of segregation make prospective customers restless and relentless; a new service with third-party intervention, providing vitals tips and value training, for weathering post breakup challenges and opportunities, will be introduced.

“Don’t do it!” yelled Marriage. “It isn’t right.”

Marriage: The institution of marriage with it’s stated and unstated rules; has brought about a semblance of orderliness, in the otherwise chaotic society. Couples entering my institution have successfully produced, to prevent mankind from becoming an engendered species.

“Woman is incomplete without a man, and legally they have to negotiate through my institution.”

After all, “Man is a part of Wo-man.”

Divorce: Lackluster emotional satisfaction to lackadaisical physical compatibility, germinates the cleavages in the holy alliance, nurturing an unholy alliance is a misery to life; I am the panacea.

“But the sentence is incomplete without stating that man is finished after the marriage.”

Soon after, “He becomes a part of S-he.”

Precisely why,

“Wisepeople avoid venturing into your institution in the fear of getting branded as Otherwise”. 

Marriage: “Let’s Makeup otherwise our institution will Breakup.”

***